PSAs

FEDERAL TRADE COMMISSION LIVE-READ PSAs
"NO SOLICITATIONS" :30
You can get a FREE copy of your credit report once every 12 months. Call 877-322-8228 or log on to annualcreditreport.com, the ONLY authorized online source for your free annual credit report
Be wary of imitators or spam. annualcreditreport.com will NEVER send you an email solicitation for your free annual credit report, or use pop up ads. If you get an email or see a pop up about this service, it's probably a scam.
A message from the Federal Trade Commission, the nation's consumer protection agency.
FEDERAL TRADE COMMISSION LIVE-READ PSAs
"Free Credit Check" :30(1)
Check your credit for free: Under federal law, you're entitled to a FREE copy of your credit report once every 12 months. Log on to annualcreditreport.com, or call 877.322-8228.
Your credit report is an important document. What it says can influence whether you get a loan, how much you'll pay, and in some cases, whether you get a job.
A reminder from the Federal Trade Commission, the nation's consumer protection agency.
177 WORDS, 60 SECONDS
HOLIDAY SAFETY
HERE ARE SOME TIPS FOR PARENTS DURING THE HOLIDAY SHOPPING SEASON, you CAN LOWER YOUR STRESS LEVEL BY DEALING WITH SAFETY ISSUES BEFORE YOU HEAD TO THE MALL WITH YOUR KIDS. MAKE SURE YOUNGER CHILDREN KNOW TO STAY WITH YOU. LEAVE T-SHIRTS AND OTHER ITEMS WITH YOUR CHILD'S NAME ON THEM AT HOME. if YOUR FAMILY SPLITS UP/ MAKE PLANS TO MEET AT A SPECIFIC TIME. if USING CELL PHONES TO CHECK IN, HAVE A BACKUP PLAN IN CASE YOU CAN'T REACH EACH OTHER. REMIND CHILDREN THAT IF SEPARATED, THEY SHOULD NEVER LEAVE THE MALL OR A STORE WITH ANYONE ELSE AND THEY SHOULD NOT GO TO THE PARKING LOT TO FIND YOU. IF LOST, KIDS SHOULD LOOK FOR SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP, SUCH AS A UNIFORMED SECURITY GUARD, LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER, A MOTHER WITH CHILDREN OR A SALESPERSON WEARING A NAME TAG. MORE HOLIDAY SAFETY TIPS ARE AVAILABLE THROUGH THE NATIONAL CENTER FOR MISSING AND EXPLOITED CHILDREN'S TWENTY-FOUR HOUR TOLL-FREE HOTLINE AT 1 -800-THE-LOST OR ONLINE AT W-W-W-DOT-MISSING-KIDS-DOT-COM.

What would Brian Carpenter Say?

A man goes into a hardware store and asks for a case of bolts.
The salesman brings out a large case on a cart. The salesman says: If you don't mind my asking, why do you need so many bolts? The man replies: All the bolts that hold my house together and to the foundation have rusted through. I need to replace all of them.
And what would Brian Carpenter say?

I once considered running for political office on the Contrarian Party ticket, but I would have run unopposed and I was against that.

Deck the halls with Salvador Dali
Da-Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da!
Twirl your mustache lubed with Moly
Da da da da da da da da da!
Don we now our melting watches.
Da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da
While we quoff a few more scotches.
Da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da.

See the amazing Man Ray bore us.
Da-Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da!
Strike the egg and join the taurus.
Da da da da da da da da da!
Follow me in merry paranoia.
Da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da
While I sing of Inigo Montoya.
Da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da.

Fast away the modern passes.
Da-Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da!
Hail the old ye cads and classes
Da da da da da da da da da!
Let my enemies devour each other.
Da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da
Heedless of the time and culture.
Da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da.